


i'm hard to love, hard to love, you say that you need me

by notthebigspoon



Series: time well wasted [1]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-07
Updated: 2012-09-07
Packaged: 2017-11-13 17:29:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/505965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Timmy, look at me.”</p><p>	“No.”</p><p>	“Tim.”</p><p>	“Fuck off.”</p><p>Title taken from Hard to Love by Lee Brice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'm hard to love, hard to love, you say that you need me

“Timmy, look at me.”

“No.”

“Tim.”

“Fuck off.”

It's adorable, really, the way Tim closes himself off and tries to act like a tough guy. He's been sitting by the window since Javi was moved to a private room in the hospital and was finally allowed visitors. It's two in the morning, visiting hours are over but the nurse had seemed to have some sort of a soft spot for Timmy and looked the other way when she found him in the room still sitting by the window.

It's really not as bad as it looks. Javi had lost control of his truck swerving to avoid a car that was in his lane. The truck is totaled and he's scraped and bruised. They're only keeping him overnight as a precautionary measure for the minor concussion he sustained. Tim, as his emergency contact, had been called first. He'd walked in, looked Javi over and while his eyes had started shining with tears, he hadn't outright cried. He'd just pulled a chair up to the window and sat down, staring at the actually pretty decent view outside.

The only other visitors were Bochy and Righetti dropping in to check in on him. Tim hadn't responded to their greetings, hadn't even looked at them. Javi had shaken his head at the questioning looks he'd gotten and they hadn't pushed the issue, just visited with Javi and made sure he was feeling okay before saying good night. They said good night to Tim as well, who predictably didn't say a word, just canted his head a little without even turning around.

Now, so late and so tired, Javi's a little aggravated. He can understand his husband being upset, can appreciate how scared Timmy gets when anyone he loves gets hurt, but that's just the thing. Javi is the one who is hurt. He could use a little comfort himself right now. But when Tim lashes out like he does, it's just not worth the fight. Javi sighs and shakes his head, shifting around to try and find a comfortable position. He reaches over his head to turn the lights off before shutting his eyes.

He wakes up when the bed rattles and shifts. He opens bleary eyes and blinks as Tim carefully climbs onto the bed and situates himself alongside Javi's body. His head rests on Javi's shoulder and one hand lands on Javi's chest, rubbing in slow circles. He sniffles, just a little, but his voice is steady when he finally speaks.

“You scared me.”

“I'm sorry.”

“It's not your fault. I know it's not and I'm sorry for being a brat about but I can't lose you, okay? You're... Javi, you're everything to me. I love you.” Tim mumbles, not looking up. “You're the only person I've ever thought I could share the show with. Sometimes I watch you pitch, I see you up on the mound and I just think... hey, he's mine. There's this beautiful, perfect, amazing person and he doesn't know any better than to want me.”

“Tim-”

“No, shut up Lopez. I'm not done talking.” Tim snaps. Javi's glad Tim can't see his smile, it'd probably just make him even crankier. “You know what I was thinking when I was driving here? That the last thing I'd said to you was fine, go ahead and leave. And wondering what the fuck I was going to do if I had to go back to our house alone knowing that I hadn't even got to say I love you one more time.”

“Timmy... the wreck wasn't that bad. The truck is totaled but I came out of it really easy. Didn't they tell you that?”

“That's not the point. If something had happened to you- I love you. I started picturing life without you in it and I couldn't handle that.”

Javi nods and tilts his head down, kissing Tim's hair and sighing. That would be his husband, sweet and bright and happy with an imagination that takes him to some pretty scary places. Always expecting the worst, expecting to lose people. When Javi had asked him to marry him, Tim had briefly thought that Javi was trying to break up with him. He tries to speak again but Tim just pokes his ribs, hard.

“Shut up. Sleep. I'm taking you home in the morning and we're going to bed and we're going to spend the entire day there. Okay? Okay. G'night.”


End file.
